Bereaved Children

We hope that the following information will be helpful to bereaved parents or other people who are in a position to reach out to a grieving child.

Funeral Directors Exeter
Bereavement and children

No child is too young to notice when an important person in his or her life is no longer there. Frequently adults, knowing how painful bereavement can be or having difficulty in accepting the death themselves, attempt to shield children from the pain by telling them little or nothing about what has happened. However, children always sense when something is wrong from the behaviour of those who are caring for them and from the changes which inevitably occur as the result of the death.

On their own, many children are not able to understand the reality of the death and the feelings which they are experiencing. They may be confused and may even feel rejected or abandoned at a time when they most need comforting, understanding and security. Adults struggling to cope with their own reactions to a death, may feel inadequate or totally helpless in dealing with grieving children.

Children frequently show their grief in ways which adults do not expect. They may possibly express themselves physically rather than verbally. They tend to grieve in spurts and may go through periods of time seeming to be unaffected by events.

How do children show grief?

Children and young people of any age may respond with any of the following reactions:

GUILT: May be the result of needing to find a reason for the death. Some children feel responsible for a death or feel guilty for being alive themselves. Sometimes, the unwitting behaviour of other family members causes children to feel guilty.

ANGER: May be directed at peers who have not suffered a loss, at the dead person for dying, or at the surviving parents/brothers/sisters or other close relatives.

PANIC: Children may fear losing more people who are close to them or might even fear that they themselves may die. They invariably feel insecure and worry about who will take care of them.

DENIAL: A way of coping with something which is not understood or accepted. They may fantasise about the dead person, talk about him or her in the present tense or continue to ask the person despite being told that he or she is never coming back.

IDEALISATION: Children may often idealise the dead person and even begin to imitate his or her mannerisms.

PHYSICAL COMPLAINTS: children may lose their appetite, have nightmares, seem to be tired for much of the time, complain of upset tummies or of having headaches. Some children may even complain of having the same symptoms as those which were shown by the dead person during the final phase of his/her illness.

Funeral Directors Exeter
Funeral Directors Exeter

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ARE YOU LOOKING TO PLAN AHEAD?

Share your funeral wishes

If you're thinking of getting a Simple and Direct Cremation but you're not ready. Try our free funeral wishes guide and we can help you see the relevant options available.